Thursday, October 2, 2008

i have no thoughts for a title here

so. i feel a little better. this whole month (well not THIS month, but last month. you know.) was just craptastic. shittacular. effing sucked.
it just kind of didn't go well, ya know? so, to recap:
Wonderboy was diagnosed with adhd. which is good, in a "burns like slow torture" kind of way. kind of like making out with your best guy friend....good for a second, then totally not worth it when the hours of indecision and angst catch up with you. not saying the diagnosis wasn't worth it, just...sigh. it burns to give up that image of perfection for your kid, even when you know it's a lie, and that no kid is perfect.
then, THEN, the focalin that i praised multiple religious deity's for, apparently has a "honeymoon" period. which would be that period of awesome behavior. then, like alcoholism, they backslide. so then we upped the dose. and HOLY GOD had to decrease it to cut the aggression/irritability/tantrums. so now we are back on 5 mg, not 10, but i think he needs the 7.5, which i can't afford until tomorrow when i get paid.
did i mention i'm broke? like always horribly broke? like using at least 2/3 of my $600 overdraft protection EVERY TWO WEEKS broke? but still make too much money to qualify for anything that might just cut a slight break for a couple of months to get our feet back under us? and i know i'm lucky to have a job, a career, when the economy sucks so much ass, but i hate being the working poor. everyone told me life "would be so much easier when you get done with college/go to college." and guess what. not so much. just one set of worries exchanged for another.
i didn't get in to grad school. but they have no idea why. my app is "under review" because "you are just as qualified as the people who got in, maybe more so, ohmygod, i don't understand what happened, do you want to reapply for winter?" so. *bangs head on wall at this point.*
i had to have a mammogram. seriously. and yet, no solution as to my boob-itis. wtf? it's like medieval torture, without any benefits.
apparently games can be beta tested online. for a million hours. by my husband. nuff said.
but, in his defense, that is improving. and he cleaned and cooked today. so i'll shut up now.
SOME ASSHOLE HIT MY CAR. i hate old people. the end.
jason's seizures spiked again. he is now on the highest dose of topamax he can be on--400 mg a day, people, holy god--without going into, you know, renal/hepatic failure. no big or anything. and if they aren't better in a little less than a week we have to wean off--which will take at least a month--while weaning ON to keppra. do you know what happens when you titrate seizure meds for epileptics? hint: get the fucking ativan. put in the magic koolaid and pass it around.
Princess's manners DIED. they are dead. there is no good behavior. or there might be, but i can't hear it over the BLOOD CURDLING SCREAMING.
so. it's been a little rough. and i've been a bitch, and probably a drag to read. but things are getting better. jason made a cd today with a really sweet song on there, for me. his song to me. that smoothed out a lot of rough edges. and Wonderboy's teacher was horrified when i reminded her that he didn't get to eat lunch with her when he earned his 10 HARD EARNED stickers, and he gets to eat lunch with her tomorrow, just him and her. he is way excited. that helps, too. and humor blogs likes me! they really like me! now rate me, for their site. k? k. thanks. how have ya'lls lives been? better? worse? let me know.


Casey said...

Wow, you have SO MUCH going on over there, no wonder you're stressed. I hope you get Carson's medication figured out, it sounds like that will be a huge help for him (and you).
The economy sucks so bad right now and I think everyone is in a funk because of it.
I hope Ella's manners come back and if they do, please send her over here to demonstrate them for my kid since he has NONE.
I hope things look up for you soon, it's terrible to have so much crap going on and to have to wait it out until things are better.

Steph said...

Oh, tif. I hope things look up soon and some of the pressure eases. For what it's worth, I can relate to the blood curdling screaming thing. What IS IT with little girls??!!

Sprite's Keeper said...

No changes over here. So you have nothing to look up to, down on. Sorry on the screaming. Please don't tell me the hubby is playing WAR. Please, please!