Tuesday, April 13, 2010

pink hearts for a heavenly anniversary

Cora's parents made these for all of the nurses at the hospital in Peds and PICU to celebrate her heavenly anniversary on Feb 8. I didn't write about it then-im not sure why-but I immediately hung it on my rear view mirror as a reminder as their love and faith and as a spiritual compass of sorts to use for myself. It calms me and gives me a huge dose of perspective like nothing else can. I hope it reminds me to stay on a true path and to follow love, as well as to use love daily with my life, self, family, and patients. I have been running a lot of chemo on the floor to a lot of kids with several kinds of cancers, some like Cora's, some not, and I try to impart Joel and Jess's love to these kids and their families. I teach them to look for a positive, every day, even if you have to wade through crap to find it...even a fever, or nausea, can be this, because it means your body and your chemo and working really hard to try and make you better. But I am careful, in my caregiving, to never make promises to these families, to these kids, because to do so would be cruel. They might NOT get better. And that possibility keeps me up at night and makes me sniffle when I clean up toddlers covered in vomit who say, piteously, "I frew up." But I smile and wipe their tears and think of Cora and her family and get through it...with my whole heart.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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